What makes a gift meaningful? Why do we appreciate the thought behind a Christmas sweater or a third toaster, while another gift brings us to tears with its perfect graciousness? What makes the difference?

It’s not the monetary value that makes a gift special. An expensive toaster that I don’t want is appreciated, of course. But it’s not the kind of gift that “matters”. Here are some factors that spell “matter” to me.

A Gift That Matters …

Is Personal, not Generic

I participate in several groups — classes, choirs, teams — that exchange gifts among all the members. That’s wonderful. But it does make it difficult to give very personalized gifts. In order to be fair and not play favorites, most people usually give the same thing to everyone. A lot of thought goes into getting nice gifts. But they aren’t often specific to the individual.

Gifts exchanged with our closest loved ones are more likely to be something that the recipient has specifically shown a desire for. We try to get something they really want, but are not likely to get for themselves. Gifts like that are not interchangeable for anyone else.

Takes Effort, Is Not Casual

The “As Seen on TV” aisle has some pretty intriguing items. The impulse-purchase endcap by the cash register sometimes does, also. But, neat as those things are, they rarely scream “effort” on the part of the giver.

Contrast those easy-to-buy gifts with something that costs the giver more than just money. A hand-crocheted afghan, a custom-built table, home-baked goodies…Those are gifts that show love by costing time and skill. Cash (or a credit card!) alone can’t purchase such a gift. It’s far more valuable than that.

Is Unexpectedly Perfect

My husband always wants to receive, and tries to give to me, something unexpected but perfect. He says “something I didn’t even know I wanted, but that I absolutely love”. Since we are both notoriously difficult to buy for, these perfect gifts don’t happen very often. He’s more likely to receive yet another tool for his overcrowded workshop. I’ll receive another book for my overflowing shelves…or a gift card so I can choose my own book.

It’s not that the “usual” gifts aren’t wonderful. They are chosen with care, and with attention to what the recipient really wants and will enjoy having. But they are not as “wow” as the surprise gifts.

God’s Christmas Gift to Us Matters

It’s Personal

There is a lesson I’ve heard many times over my years in church: If there was only one person in the world, if I was here all alone, Christ would still have come to die…just for me. That thought stuns me every time it comes up. Would He really do that?

That statement is not explicitly said anywhere in the Bible. It’s been argued that the Bible doesn’t address hypothetical questions and, since the fact is that there have always been many people needing salvation, there is no need for God to say what He would do for only one.

The concept, though, that God knows, loves, and saves each person individually, is taught in the Bible. From His personal interactions with Adam and Eve in the garden … to His specific callings to the patriarchs and the prophets … to Jesus’ personal appearances to Mary and Peter after His resurrection ¹, we see God dealing with individuals, not with people en masse. Jesus taught that God knows every hair on every head, and that each person is valued (Matthew 10:29-31). The Holy Spirit comes to each believer individually, and takes up residence within them (Acts 2:1-4, 1 Corinthians 6:19). The Psalms describe God’s intimate relationship with each person:

O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
…
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.

Psalm 139:1-6, 15-16

It Took Effort

It was not an easy thing for God to become a baby. It was not easy to live as a human, with all the same problems and temptations, without becoming just as corrupted (Hebrews 4:15). It was not easy to be despised, forsaken, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, pierced, crushed, scourged, oppressed, afflicted, sacrificed (Isaiah 53). It was not easy to go to the cross (Luke 22:39-44).

Jesus did not give an as-seen-on-TV impulse purchase. He gave His own body and blood (Luke 22:19-20, 1 Peter 1:18-19).

It Was Unexpected, and Is Perfect

Christ’s gift was given when we didn’t yet know that we needed it: “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Paul speaks of Him as a mystery, something hidden since the beginning of time but finally revealed in Jesus (1 Corinthians 2:7-8, Ephesians 3:8-12, Colossians 1:25-28).

This gift is not lacking in anything. It’s not partial, or incomplete, or almost right. Hebrews 10:11-14 tells us that, unlike earlier sacrifices that had to be repeated regularly, Jesus’ one-time sacrifice — His gift to us — is forever sufficient. It will never fade (Romans 8:38-39), can’t be taken away (John 10:27-29), and is freely offered to everyone (John 3:16).

Merry Christmas

We spend the Advent season remembering the Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love that God gives to us through that baby in the manger. As we politely express thanks for the toasters, and rejoice over the more significant gifts we receive, let’s not stop there. Let us remember to keep the focus on the Gift that matters more than all the rest, the One we really celebrate.

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:14

1. Individualized mentions of Peter aren’t given in detail. But they are referred to in places like Luke 24:33-34 and 1 Corinthians 15:3-5.