Comparisons are inevitable. We can’t help it. Our split-second gut reaction when we see someone is almost always how they are in relation to someone else. Are they more or less attractive than average? Are they taller, shorter, thinner, heavier, dressed up or dressed down? Do they look wealthy and important, or poor and down-trodden?
Seeing Differences is OK
This is OK, to a point. People are distinctive as individuals, and there is nothing wrong with seeing those distinctions. How else would we pick someone out in a crowd? “The person with two legs and one head” is not very helpful. 😁 “The tall black man in a nice suit” works a little better.
In fact, noticing discrepancies where something goes against the typical pattern is a survival trait. For instance, standard self-protection advice is to notice breaks in pattern. Is someone going the opposite direction, against the flow of everyone else? Are they moving when others are still, or vice-versa? Are they dressed in appropriately for the occasion, or are they wearing a hoodie or trench coat and ski mask in the middle of summer at a formal event? That’s a reason to ask “Why?” while simultaneously moving to a safer location. The anomaly may not be a threat, but it still warrants close attention.
Setting Myself as the Standard is Not OK
It becomes more problematic, though, when I realize that I am using only myself as the comparison standard. Are they more or less attractive than I am (in my own eyes, at least)? Are they tall or short, slim or heavy, as seen standing next to me? Are their clothes nicer and more expensive than mine, or do they look like something I would wear only for gardening? Are they behaving like I do, or like I imagine that I would in the same situation? Are their likes and dislikes, their political preferences, their favorite foods, the same as mine?
One of my favorites is driving speed. “Too fast” passing me or “too slow” in front of me is not defined by the posted speed limit. It’s defined by how fast I want to go at the moment!
Music is another example 1: The definition of “too loud” or “too soft” or “good” vs. “bad” genre is based on my personal taste.
We are so naturally self-centered that we often don’t even realize what we are doing. Our real comparison is “like me” vs. “not like me”.
Who designated me to be the yardstick against which everyone else is measured? Answer: No one!
Judging Based on Differences is Not OK
An even worse problem is when I go beyond simply noticing differences, and start assigning moral value to them. If I think that being heavier than me means someone is “fat” and therefore “lazy” and “undisciplined”, then I am the one in the wrong. If I see nice clothes and think “conceited” or “uppity”, or inexpensive clothing and assume a “cheap” and “trashy” person, I’m wrong. If I see a race or ethnicity other than mine, and think “troublemaker” or “probably criminal” or “arrogant” or “entitled” simply based on skin tone, I’m very wrong.
Each person is infinitely valuable to God, and has a right to be judged based on their own behavior rather than any external trait. Of course, each is also individually responsible for their own choices and actions. No one gets to have their behavior excused due to external traits, either!
Paul corrected the Christians in the Roman church about this. Their specific issue was whether or not it was OK to eat meat that may have a pagan connection 2. But his teaching could apply equally to many other points of difference.
Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
Romans 14:4, 10 (For full context and an important lesson, see all of Romans chapter 14)
…
But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.
Most especially, I am not to give anyone more or less priority in the family of God due to external characteristics. James warns against doing so in relation to wealth:
My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism. For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, and there also comes in a poor man in dirty clothes, and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the fine clothes, and say, “You sit here in a good place,” and you say to the poor man, “You stand over there, or sit down by my footstool,” have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil motives?
James 2:1-4
But it’s not just wealth that tempts us to un-Christlike comparisons. Paul taught that our connection in Christ overrules all other differences:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, There is neither slave nor free man, There is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28
Jesus is the Standard…and the Judge
If I am not the standard, then who is? Duh….That would be Jesus. And if I am not the Judge, then who is? Duh, again!
Whenever I am tempted to think of myself as more righteous than someone else, I can look to Jesus. He is the embodiment and definition of righteousness. He lived a completely perfect life, the one I was designed to live but failed miserably. Yet He was willing to stoop to come to my rescue, dying and rising again to provide me with His righteousness.
When I am tempted to condemn someone else for not measuring up to my standard (or to God’s standard as interpreted by me), I can still look to Him. He recognized sin without excusing it. However, He also showed us that the ultimate standard is our faith in Him.
For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
John 3:17-18
Note: Similar articles on this site include “To Judge, or Not To Judge?“, “Self-Righteousness“, and “Outcasts“.
Footnotes and Scripture References
- Sometimes, even in the church!
- Meat sometimes was presented to a pagan idol before being sold in the marketplace.