I heard a friend say something interesting the other day. When he is leading someone to Christ, he makes sure that they really understand what they are doing and are fully committed to it. He deliberately tries to talk them out of it! If they persist, then he knows that the decision is their own, not a response to any pressure or manipulation from him.
Jesus did the same. He said “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24, also Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:23) In his “Bread of Life” discourse in John 6:47-58, He said that only those who feed on Him — taking in His teaching like food, accepting that His sacrificed body and blood are the spiritual nourishment they need — can have eternal life. When some listeners bristled at that, He responded:
Does this offend you? Then what will you think if you see the Son of Man ascend to heaven again? The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But some of you do not believe me.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning which ones didn’t believe, and he knew who would betray him.) Then he said, “That is why I said that people can’t come to me unless the Father gives them to me.
John 6:62-65
After He doubled down like this, verse 66 says that many of His disciples turned away and deserted Him. He was demanding more than they were willing to give 1. Jesus taught, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer 2 put it, “Salvation is free, but discipleship will cost you your life.”
So, what are some crosses that have to be carried when one follows Jesus? What drawbacks must be accepted before becoming a Christian? Here are a few that I can think of. They fall into the two main categories of “You’ll have to change” and “People won’t like you”.
You’ll have to change.
Please note: I am NOT saying that you’ll have to change in order to become a Christian! After all, Jesus saved the dying thief on the cross beside Him. He is waiting to rescue anyone who admits they need it, turns to Him, and simply asks. What I am saying is that once you do choose to become a Christian, your priorities and goals will change, and this will necessarily affect your behavior. Anything that you are doing that dishonors God will need to stop; things that honor Him will need to start. This is a lifelong process, not an instantaneous transformation. But it is guaranteed to happen to anyone acting under the influence of an authentic relationship with Jesus 3.
You might have to stop something you’re doing.
Are there actions in your life that are a direct contradiction to God’s command? Maybe you have a habit of fudging on taxes, or inflating business expense reports (Exodus 20:15, Psalm 24:3-4). Maybe you look down on others and consider yourself to be superior (Zechariah 7:9-10, Romans 12:3, Philippians 2:3). Maybe you spend your free time with a crowd that dabbles in unhealthy attitudes or substances (Proverbs 1:10-16, Proverbs 20:1, Proverbs 23:29-35, Isaiah 5:11). Maybe your sexual life is something other than one biological man joined to one biological woman in a lifetime commitment (Genesis 2:23-24, Matthew 19:4-6, Exodus 20:14, Leviticus 18). Those actions are not consistent with a life redeemed by Christ and committed to Him.
You might have to start doing something.
You’ll want to find a church home and attend it regularly. Gathering with other believers is important to your continued growth. God intended His people to be an interdependent community, one the Apostle Paul refers to as the “Body of Christ“. One of the Ten Commandments is the Sabbath, a day to separate from normal labors and spend special time resting in God’s presence.
The new priorities will affect your time, energy, and finances. Money that might have been spent on fun things — hobbies, vacations, nice car or house or clothing — may need to be reduced in order to give at least a tenth (a “tithe“) of your income to God’s work. Time that might have been spent “playing” might be better used volunteering to help with a ministry that shares Jesus with others. The resources diverted to God might even go beyond whatever used to be “extra”; they might cut into what you consider necessities. You might be asked to trust that God provides those necessities when you let go of them.
You might have to go somewhere different, or deal with someone unlikeable.
God can call His followers to uncomfortable or dangerous places. Jonah was sent to Ninevah. Moses was sent to the Pharaoh. Hosea was told to marry a prostitute and an adulteress. Thousands of Christians have gone places and done things and dealt with people when others were not willing. Think of Mother Teresa in the slums of India, David Livingstone in Africa, Adoniram Hudson in Burma, and Lottie Moon in China.
If not overseas, you might be called to go across the street, and tell the cranky neighbor that God loves them and Jesus died for them. That can be terrifying!
People won’t like you.
When you choose to follow Jesus, people will treat you as they did Him. And remember: They constantly harassed Him, and then they killed Him!
A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master. If they have called the head of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign the members of his household!
Matthew 10:24-25
Some people will think you’re weird.
When you choose not to hang out at the bar on Saturday night; when your language is clean while F-bombs are dropping all around you; when you work steadily while others are loafing (Colossians 3:17, 23) … You won’t match. You will be out of step, and that is noticeable.
It will be even more noticeable if you used to behave like this and now begin changing habits. But then, that gives a good witness opportunity, as well!
One example of this is the way it made news a few years ago when Sadie Robertson (of the Duck Dynasty TV-show family) chose to dress modestly on the show “Dancing with the Stars”. She even — gasp!! — let her father approve of her outfits. Why was it so strange for a 17-year-old girl to not flaunt her body on national television? Honoring God with her wardrobe choices, and respecting her father, was “weird” enough to warrant news coverage. And, no, the costumes were not modern-day burqas covering her from head-to-toe; they were pretty and appropriate. See them for yourself here (and notice the condescension in the costume reviews).
Another aspect of this is that Christians are often portrayed by Hollywood as caricatures far removed from reality. It’s true that Christians are human beings, and are still sinners (although redeemed ones). As such, they may at times be hypocritical, or judgmental, or Pharisaical. But such things are not the heart of the majority of Christ’s followers. They certainly are not the heart of Christ Himself!
I discuss this a bit in the article “When Church Hurts“. I also found a couple of articles exploring why Christians are so negatively portrayed, here and here.
Friends might pull away.
You could lose friends who decide that you have become too weird to associate with. Or the friendships could simply grow apart as your interests and priorities change. Some may be angry with you: Your decision to change implies that they should change also, that something is wrong with them.
You might be questioned and challenged.
Even if you are successful at navigating new parameters to friendships, you will still need to be able to explain why you’ve changed. Since Jesus began His church, we’ve had to make the case for what we believe. Paul had to explain to Jews from their Scriptures, our Old Testament (Acts 17:2-3, Acts 28:23), and to the Gentiles starting with their own beliefs (Acts 17:16-34).
There is an entire field of thought called “Apologetics”, from the Latin apologia. It means, not to apologize for wrong-doing, but to explain the reasoning behind a position taken. Since you are reading this article, you are familiar with an least one website that touches on apologetics. 😉 Good books on the topic include Josh McDowell’s “Evidence that Demands a Verdict” and Lee Strobel’s “The Case for Faith“. There are many more resources available to help you educate your friends (and yourself) on why being a Christian is is far from unreasonable.
You might be persecuted.
Actually, Jesus promised that you will be persecuted (John 15:18-21, John 16:1-4, Luke 21:12, Matthew 5:10-12). Here are a few recent instances of persecution that hit close to home:
Baker Jack Phillips has been a prominent example of anti-Christian persecution. He politely declined to decorate a cake to celebrate gay marriage — while offering to sell the same gay couple any other product or make a cake for them with any other message — and has spent twelve years in court as a result.
Atlanta fire chief Kelvin Cochran was fired after years of exemplary service over a Christian Bible-study book that he wrote on his own time with no relationship to his job. Thankfully, that was overturned…but not until after five years of legal efforts.
In the U.K, Adam Smith-Conner was charged for silently praying — without disturbing or even interacting with anyone — near an abortion clinic. In fact, it may now be illegal in Scotland to pray within your own home if it can be seen by anyone who may be offended or influenced by that prayer.
In some places, you might even be killed.
It doesn’t stop with legal persecution. It hasn’t happened with official sanction — yet — in the United States, but in other parts of the world being a Christian is very literally life-threatening. In just the past month, April of 2025, Christians have been massacred in Nigeria. Worldwide, Open Doors International reports that over 380 million Christians face high levels of persecution for their faith.
This continues a long tradition. We think of the early Christians being thrown to the lions. It was a real thing, not just a old urban legend. However, of the 70 million who have lost their lives as a result of their faith, over half — 45 million — did so during the 20th century rather than the first century 4. In fact, there is a Catholic basilica dedicated to these 20th-century martyrs.
Note: This 15-minute video provides a disturbing amount of detail on this worldwide persecution of Christians in 2024.
Is it still worth it? YES.
What does Jesus offer that is worth all these consequences? Most obviously, He offers eternal life in God’s direct presence! But in this current life, during these current challenges, He offers continual power, peace, guidance, protection (sometimes from harm, sometimes in the midst of harm) and, most of all, His all-encompassing love. When you balance it out, He wins easily.
Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel’s sake, but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life.
Mark 10:29-30
…In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.
John 16:33
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:18
Footnotes and Scripture References
- The Twelve stayed, though, because they knew that He had “the words that give eternal life” and was “the Holy One of God“. (John 6:67-69)
- Bonhoeffer was a German pastor and writer who was killed for his part in the Resistance against Hitler and Nazism.
- “Cleaning all the Corners” is an article on this site discussing this concept.
- Learn more here, here, and here.
