I was having an interesting, but unhealthy, conversation with myself the other day. I was mentally rehearsing all the things that were making me unhappy: The political news was depressing; some friends weren’t behaving the way I thought they should; my muscles were sore from exercising. You know the kind of circling inner complaint session that can get going, don’t you? Please tell me that I’m NOT the only one!
I pulled myself up short and thought: “Stop this. You should be talking to God instead.” So I did, but ….
I prayed “God, I’ve been fussing about everyone and everything else. What should I be doing instead? What do You need me to learn? What do You want to fuss at me about today?”
Eeeeekkk! What a disservice that was to the God who loves me and just wants to hear from me! I was assuming that He is a fussbudget 1, always ready to pick apart my flaws, never satisfied with me. That’s no way to treat Him; I’m ashamed of myself. 😔
I’m Not Finished Yet
Yes, of course, I am still very much a work in progress. (I’m sure that is painfully obvious to anyone who knows me!) As the bumper sticker says “Please be patient. God isn’t finished with me yet.”
I know that there must be plenty that God wants to clean up in my life. And it’s for my own good when He points something out and lets me know where I need work. I need to know where I’m missing the target, so that I can let Him help me to grow. God will continue, patiently and gently, to work at that task until it is complete (Philippians 1:6).
David gives the example in Psalm 139:
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Psalm 139:23-24
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
But I don’t need to wallow in guilt and constantly beat myself up for my sinfulness … or always expect Him to have nothing but a reprimand for me. In fact, that would be wrong and ungrateful: The whole point of Jesus’ coming was to cover my sin, and cover me with His righteousness instead (2 Corinthians 5:21, 1 Peter 2:24). There comes a point where I can cross the line beyond acknowledging my need for forgiveness, and move on into discounting the fact that I have already been forgiven (at great cost!).
God has always known my flaws. But He has always loved me in spite of them. That is the great Good News of the Gospel message!
God is Patient
God is not sitting there with a long to-do list, waiting to smother me with all my faults. On the contrary, He just wants my heart, imperfect as it is. In speaking of the coming Messiah, Isaiah tells us that He deals gently with the weak, including me: “A bruised reed He will not break and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish.” (Isaiah 42:3). When Jesus, that Messiah, came to live among us and was teaching His disciples, He repeated that same message:
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
The well-known “love chapter” in 1 Corinthians 13 describes “agapē” love, the kind of love that God has toward us. It is “patient… kind… bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
God is Walking Beside Me
In John 14:16, Jesus promised the Holy Spirit to be what in Greek is called a parakletos, one who is an advocate coming along beside us. Paul told the church at Rome that the Spirit helps our weakness and intercedes on our behalf when we don’t even know what to ask for (Romans 8:26-27).
The Bible is emphatic that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:31-39). He is always there beside me, even within me, to share my life with all of its ups and downs. He is a Friend who cares about me. He wants to encourage me when I’m struggling, and congratulate me when I succeed. He wants to celebrate with me when I’m happy, and cry with me when I’m sad. He wants to laugh with me at life’s occasional silliness, and smile with me at its sweetness.
Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends [as Jesus did for all of us]. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.
John 15:13-15
God is Not a Vending Machine
Imagine how tiresome it must be to God that when I do come to Him, it’s usually because I want something. How many prayers ask for healing, or for guidance, or for some wrong to be righted? If that is all the communication that I attempt with God, then I’m not being much of a friend. How much would a human friend appreciate it if every contact was “Can I borrow something?” or “Will you give me a ride?” without ever asking “How are things with you?” or “What do you think?”
A common piece of advice to help combat this tendency is to begin every prayer with praise. I can thank God for what He has done, or express awe and appreciation for who He is, before bombarding Him with requests. Just like with my human friends, I can participate in a give-and-take conversation that spans many types of communication 2. (A good book on this topic is “Hearing God in Conversation” by Sam Williamson.)
Friend, Companion, Mentor, Partner, Lover
Fixing me is not the only thing on God’s mind when He looks at me. It’s not necessarily even the top-priority thing. He doesn’t just see a messy sinner. He sees a much-loved child (John 1:12), one who is covered by Christ’s righteousness. He wants to just be with me.
That is so incredibly outrageous that I have trouble grasping it. I keep forgetting and slipping Him back into a fussbudget-and-vending-machine role. I am grateful that He chose to remind me — again — that He just loves me and wants to be a friend to me.
The old hymn says it well, and this video is a fresh arrangement of it: What a Friend We Have in Jesus!
Footnotes and Scripture References
- “one who fusses or is fussy especially about trifles”
- One helpful acronym is P.R.A.Y., which stands for praise, repent, ask, and yield.
