Disclaimer: This article is exploring the concepts of Christian charity with both its requirements and its limits, and offering that exploration for your own consideration. I am NOT claiming to know the correct answer in any situation, or to be able to implement it properly even when I do know what should be done. Nothing is to be taken as legal or absolute advice.
It’s almost automatic for Americans to charge to the rescue after any kind of natural disaster. Tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes…We are jumping in before the rumbling even settles down. That’s wonderful!
Meet the Need, Even When It’s Not Deserved
But Christians also feel called to help those who have brought their problems on themselves. We run crisis pregnancy centers, even if the people involved willingly participated in causing the pregnancy. We offer addiction counseling even when the addict relapses time and again. We provide homeless shelters even while the person using our hospitality is able-bodied and should be able to work at a decent-paying job.
Individuals and local churches also help beyond what is usually considered “deserving”. Our church keeps food in our sidewalk “blessing box” even though we know some people take advantage of it. We offer at least a doughnut and a cup of coffee to anyone who walks in, even if they are “regular customers” looking for yet another handout. We, either as a church or as individuals, will pay a utility bill, buy a bag of groceries, or provide a night in a motel even knowing that the recipient has probably mis-spent what little money they have had recently. Meeting the immediate need comes first, without a lecture associated as payment.
God Helps the Undeserving…Us!
Why do we do that? Because God does. He loves and provides for us even though we have done nothing to deserve His grace. He doesn’t help only if we first meet a list of qualifications. He doesn’t say “Sorry, you brought this on yourself. You made the bed; now you get to lie in it.”
Even His judgment and discipline are tempered. They are designed for our good, to bring us to repentance, a turning away from the self-destructive behavior and toward Him instead.
Of course, the most obvious demonstration of God’s mercy and goodness to the undeserving is Jesus. The classic statement of that comes from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church at Rome:
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Christ didn’t have to die. Our sin, and its resulting separation from God, is our own fault. That is the bed we’ve made (and continue to make daily) when we chose (and continue to choose) to follow our own inclinations instead of our Creator’s will. He could have left us to deal alone with the mess we made, a mess that we have no ability to clean up.
But He didn’t do that. He went to great, extremely painful effort to offer us a solution. And He did so before we asked, before we even knew to ask.
Help, Not Handout
So, does that mean that we should always bail out anyone who needs it, unconditionally? Well, not so fast. That’s not exactly what God does.
God provides abundant resources. But when we mis-use them, there are consequences. We don’t get the full benefit of those resources when they are wasted and not stewarded properly. He also does not often directly provide the final result immediately. Food doesn’t appear on the table by magic. Instead, He gives us the ability to work and earn money with which to purchase food, clothing and shelter. If we squander that gift — if we don’t do what we can to provide for ourselves using that ability — then we go hungry.
In his letter to the church at Thessalonica, Paul made it clear that freeloading is not an acceptable lifestyle:
For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example. For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread.
2 Thessalonians 3:7-12
Why would God use that roundabout way to provide? At least part of His reason could be what we receive in addition to the sustenance for life while we are making an effort to acquire it. We learn from the struggle. We grow stronger as we are pushed to go beyond our comfort zone. We gain a sense of accomplishment and healthy pride when our efforts are successful. Basically, we grow instead of stagnating and remaining immature.
How does this translate into helping others with their needs, especially needs brought on by their own poor choices? With the Spirit’s guidance, we can follow God’s model as adapted to each individual situation. We can love unconditionally, without enabling self-destructive behavior, while offering support that lifts others up and pushes them to grow beyond the need for assistance. Some ways that could look might include:
- Provide a place to sleep rather than leaving them outside in the cold. But expect an effort on their part. Have them contribute to the household, either by paying rent or by helping with the maintenance: cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc. Make it clear that the housing is of limited duration, and that they are expected to actively work toward acquiring a home of their own.
- Provide a meal instead of letting someone go hungry. But that means “a” meal, not three gourmet treats a day every day for the next year. Insist on substantial time spent pursuing a job, or education that can lead to one, offering a future that can continue to provide food indefinitely.
- Also encourage time spent volunteering. Contributing to the community, even unpaid, still pays off in growth that will not be gained on the couch watching television.
- Offer assistance with finding professional help. Problems are very real, and can be very complex, more so than can be solved by a well-intentioned lay person. Whether counseling, budget education, drug or alcohol rehabilitation, peer-group therapy such as Alcoholics Anonymous, or other services, help is available to move beyond today’s problems.
Boundaries Mean Respect
But if that help is refused or disrespected, shielding someone from consequences soon becomes counterproductive. It can actually undermine their dignity and value as a human being created in the image of God! After all, if their choices don’t make a difference, if they land in the same soft place no matter what option they choose, then why should they bother with the hard work of being a responsible adult? They are being treated as children, without agency of their own, and will behave accordingly. They will have no incentive to change their behavior, and no reason to accept responsibility for their own life.
God loves us as His children. However, He still give us real choices, and honors them even when we make poor ones. Jesus died to provide for our salvation. But if we choose not to accept that gift, He respects the choice and allows us the Hell we’ve asked for…even though it breaks His heart. He may pursue us and our good relentlessly, but the final decision is ours and its results are ours to face.
God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.
1 John 5:11-12, John 3:17-20, Romans 6:23, Deuteronomy 30:15-20
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For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
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For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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I have set before you today life and prosperity, and death and adversity…I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live.
Help in Crisis; Encourage Healing; Respect Choices; Demonstrate Love
Following His example, our goal is to meet immediate needs, then offer support that leads to lasting solutions. But that goal includes setting and enforcing clear boundaries, then respecting their choice even when it means they have to face unpleasant consequences. That balance is difficult. It varies with each individual situation. Each will require prayer for God’s wisdom and direction.
Ultimately, the goal is always to direct the needy person to God Himself. He is the One Who stands ready to meet every need, and the only One Who can bring complete redemption. Everything we do to help another should be tailored in a way that channels His love for them.
Note: Some similar articles on this site include “Infinitely Valuable/Individually Responsible“, “Outcasts“, and “Can ‘They’ Go to Heaven?“
