First, a confession….
I feel like I should always be “spiritual”. You know: Putting God first, focusing on Him before I start on any of the day’s priorities; always aware of the Spirit’s presence, hearing and obeying even the softest whispers; joyfully sharing my life with Jesus, leaning trustfully on Him at every moment. And, certainly, those things are proper goals for every Christian.
Then I slam into my own reality: Waking up with 1000 chores in mind for the day, no time for praying or reading the Bible first; or having a few minutes, but wanting to spend them on something mindless and relaxing instead of disciplined like Bible study.
Then I feel guilty, and resolve to live up to the ideal from now on. Ten minutes later, the cycle starts again … if I last even that long. I want to work on my relationship with God, because He deserves it. Relationships need nurturing, and I love the feeling of doing so with God. But it also sometimes feels like work, and I’m tired (or lazy).
I totally fail to meet my own expectations. At least, I have company in this dilemma: The Apostle Paul wrote “for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.” (Romans 7:18-19) I know what he means!
God is More Patient than I Am
Am I failing God’s expectations also? Not really. His expectations are more realistic than mine.
God knows all these swirling, conflicting thoughts, and He still chooses to love me in spite of them. Of course, what He wants is for me to enjoy my time with Him, not be sitting there reluctantly, simply out of duty 1. But, He also knows human nature, my nature, so He doesn’t expect me to stop being a sinner. I’m so grateful for that grace!
Jesus is fully aware of our weaknesses. As He told His disciples in the garden of Gethsemane, He knows that “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41) He even predicted Peter’s denial, a complete failure, but also encouraged “once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:31-34, my emphasis) In fact, He told all of the disciples “You will all fall away because of Me this night.” (Matthew 26:31).
As Isaiah predicted of the Messiah, though, He won’t give up on even a “bruised reed” or a “dimly burning wick” (Isaiah 42:3). The Psalmist praises that God “knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust” (Psalm 103:14).
Look at how patient Jesus was with those disciples. Despite living with Him 24/7, walking throughout Judea and Galilee together for years, hearing His teaching, seeing His miracles…they still misunderstood and screwed up regularly.
- Matthew 8:23-27: The disciples were amazed when Jesus calmed the storm, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?” (This was after the many healings in verses 1-17.)
- Matthew 14:28-31: After seeing Jesus walk on water, and then walking on it himself, Peter still looked around and became afraid of the waves.
- Matthew 15:32-33: Even after seeing Jesus feed the 5000 (Matthew 14:13-21), the disciples’ reaction to a hungry crowd was “Where would we get so many loaves in this desolate place to satisfy such a large crowd?” Jesus repeated the miracle, feeding 4000 people with only a few loaves and fish.
- Matthew 16:21-23: Peter tried to get Jesus to stop talking about His upcoming suffering: “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.“
- Mark 9:30-32: Jesus said that He would be killed, but the disciples didn’t understand Him…and were afraid to ask Him what He meant.
- Mark 9:33-35: The disciples argued about which among them was the greatest.
- Mark 10:35-40: James and John asked for places of honor in His kingdom, sitting to His right and His left.
- Luke 9:51-56: James and John wanted to call down fire on a Samaritan village for not welcoming Jesus.
- John 12:12-16: At the triumphal entry on Palm Sunday, the disciples did not recognize the significance. It took until after the resurrection for them to relate it to Zechariah’s prophecy (Zechariah 9:9).
- John 20:4-9: Even looking into the empty tomb, Peter and John still “did not understand the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead.“
- John 20:24-29: After hearing from the others that Jesus was alive, Thomas still wouldn’t believe until he saw Him for himself.
Can’t you just see Jesus shaking His head and rolling His eyes at their denseness? But He didn’t kick them off the team and go looking for more-aware disciples to replace them. He just kept on working with them until they eventually got it.
It’s a Process
At least I’m consistent: I have the same issue with unmet expectations in other areas of my life, as well. For instance, I am currently in the process of learning a couple of new hobbies. I want to pop immediately to “proficient” in the new skills, then move quickly on to “excellent” at them. “Perfection” takes time, so I’m willing to wait a week or two on that. 😁
Surprise: That isn’t happening. I improve only in tiny increments, with lots of backward steps and side trips along the way. That’s why it’s called “learning” and “growing“, not “learned” and “grown”.
Everything, from hobbies to relationships, is a process. We are always climbing, and never reach a pinnacle where everything has been achieved and it’s OK to stop. There is always room to reach higher. Even Olympic records aren’t static. They are frequently broken in the next competition, often by the same athlete who has continued to improve on their own performance.
Don’t Lower the Expectations, But Don’t Give Up
Just because I’m not what I think I should be doesn’t mean that I can stop trying. Those Olympic records aren’t broken by someone who quits training, thinking they have already achieved everything they are ever going to.
Paul says we are “being transformed” into the image and glory of Jesus as we continue to look at Him. (2 Corinthians 3:18) Note that action verb, “being”, which tells us that the transformation is not yet complete. He also says that “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)… but no sooner than that.
As I make an effort to grow in my relationship with God, I’m not working alone. Why do I trust Jesus for my salvation, but then act as if living that reconciled life is all on me? How silly of me! He is always with me, encouraging me, smiling each time I take a step in the right direction. He knows that I won’t fully arrive…until I arrive in Heaven!
