“But who can discern their own errors?”
Psalm 19:12
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Psalm 139:23-24
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
In a recent article, I discussed how God’s law makes us aware of our need for a Savior. Its standard shows us how far we are from meeting our design specifications. But we also have an additional problem: Before we can do anything about our sin, we must be aware of it. And one of sin’s great tragedies is that we often cannot see it in ourselves.
We know it’s there. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8), “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick.” (Jeremiah 17:9), “There is no one who does good, not even one.” (Psalm 14:3, 53:3), and “…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
But I, at least, am expert at rationalizing and justifying and squirming to convince myself that I’m really OK. I know I’m not perfect, of course, but I’m not that awful, am I? Yeah, sure, I could do more: I could be better at daily time with God; I could be more generous with my time, money, and other resources; I could be more loving and focussed on others instead of myself. But salvation is by faith, not works, right? I don’t have to stress to earn God’s favor; He offers it freely. Well…..
It’s true that salvation is free, received simply by acknowledging that I’m a sinner, turning away from that sin and toward God, and accepting Jesus‘ forgiveness. That removes the eternal weight of sin-guilt that was carried — and defeated — by Him. It removes the barrier that keeps me from being able to connect with God.
However, sin is still a part of me, and it still has consequences. It still interferes with my relationships, both with God and with those around me. I have a Savior, but I still need to continually dig deeper and let Him forgive and cleanse me more and more thoroughly. To participate in that life-long process, there are several reasons that I need for God to make me aware of my blind spots.
I need to restrain my self-righteousness.
I find it so much easier to see the sin in someone else than in myself. Remember Jesus’ illustration of offering to remove a speck from another’s eye while ignoring the log in our own eye? (Matthew 7:3-5, Luke 6:41-42)
That’s what is happening when I notice someone else being prideful and cocky…and I’m so proud of myself for not being like that! It happens when I think that an alcoholic or addict obviously should just stop abusing their bodies…not caring that I have bad habits I don’t break (and I don’t even have the physical addiction as an excuse!) It happens when I say someone is being rude and selfish…because they aren’t giving me my way, and of course my needs are more important than theirs.
How would my attitude toward others improve if I remembered that my sin is no less than theirs, just manifested in different ways?
I need to know where I’m most vulnerable.
Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8
When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11), he picked on the areas where he thought his odds were best. Jesus had been fasting and was hungry, so Satan suggested He use His power to produce bread. Jesus was about to embark on His mission and declare Himself to be the Son of God, so Satan said it would be a good idea to make a dramatic show as evidence. Jesus would one day be universally acknowledged as the Lord of All, but the road to that glory would be by way of danger, torture, and death. Satan offered a quick and painless way out.
But it didn’t work. Jesus was prepared for the test. He had answers ready for each of Satan’s temptations, and was able to stand firm against them.
I need to prepare also. Where is Satan most likely to attack? He will hit where I’m weakest and his odds are the best. That will be through the sins that come most easily to me, especially if I haven’t acknowledged them. Each un-repented sin is a vulnerability, a sore spot that Satan can poke at.
What un-forced errors am I making? How am I giving my enemy openings to attack?
I need to face the truth about myself.
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.
James 1:23-24
Have you ever seen a photograph or video of yourself (especially a driver’s license photo!), and almost not recognized it: Who is that?! I’m not that heavy, am I? Is my hair really that sloppy? Or heard yourself on an audio recording: Is my voice really that shrill? How can anyone stand to listen to me?
Paul wrote that we now see “in a mirror dimly” but one day “I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12). On that day, I will really see myself. I will know the full extent of my rebellious offenses toward God. He has always known them, of course, and forgiven them through Jesus. But I have to wonder just how shocked I’m going to be.
There is no avoiding that shock. But it will be even greater if I don’t make a habit of examining myself and learning even the ugly stuff that I would rather avoid.
What can I go ahead and face, and get a tiny bit of that shock over with ahead of time?
I need to appreciate Jesus properly.
Our choir is working on the song “Your Grace Still Amazes Me“. The director reminds us to emphasize that God’s grace still stays amazing, no matter how long we have known Him. We can never fully understand the depth, width, height, and strength of it.
I especially can’t begin to understand His grace until I realize just how much I need it. That can be difficult for someone like me who grew up in church and accepted Christ at a young age. If Jesus had saved me from a life of destitution, crime, and violence, I would be able to look back and see a dramatic difference. But, in His grace, He spared me. He gave me a Christian home and a shy temperament that didn’t present as much opportunity for painfully-obvious sin.
That protection does not at all mean that my sin is any less than the guy in the gutter, or the gang leader, or the white-collar embezzler. It just means that I can’t see it as easily. Remember: Sin is in the rebellious heart, the choice of my way over God’s. Showing more subtly does not lessen it in any way. It does, however, make it more difficult for me to realize and appreciate just how much He carried for me on that cross, and how much His blood is having to cover on my behalf.
Without God’s protection, I wonder what would have happened to me? What is there in my soul that would have been disastrous without His restraint?
I need more of God.
What all of us need more than anything else in the world is God. He is the Source of our existence, and the only thing that can fill the vacuum inside us that was designed to hold His presence. Every little scrap of sin within me is blocking that bit of Him. The more sin, the less of God.
Since what I need is more of God, I must continue to let Him root out the blockages. I need for Him to show me my sin, then hold me as I acknowledge, confess 1, and repent of it.
I pray that God will, first, make me more WILLING to be shown. Then, I ask Him to “show me my sin….please!”
Note: A couple of similar articles on this site are “Cleaning All The Corners” and “Big Sins, Little Sins, Forgiven Sin“,