I was just appointed guardian and conservator for an elderly relative with advanced dementia. It was not easy to tell the court that she is not capable of caring for herself or making rational decisions, but that is unfortunately the case. By herself, she would not eat or bathe properly. The world of the past is more real to her than the present. She would have no idea what she was signing on any legal document. She needs a keeper, for her own sake.

However, she would disagree with that assessment. When told that she cannot go back to living on her own, she doesn’t understand why not. When we remind her that she falls every time she tries to stand up, she angrily retorts that she’s walked up and down the hall several times already…something that is absolutely NOT the case. (She can take a couple of steps only with someone else supporting 90% of her weight.) She truly does not realize that she needs help, and she rejects any notion that she is not capable of being independent.

She has dementia. What is my excuse?

My Soul Is Sick

Don’t I often insist that I am perfectly capable of running my own life with no need for God’s keeping? Don’t I imagine that I have succeeded all by myself, forgetting that God has been holding me up while I “walk” on my own? Don’t I assume that I understand the world well enough to make decisions without His guidance?

How am I any different than she is?

The difference is only in scale, not in essence. She does not meet the typical human standard for physical and cognitive competence, because the disease has damaged the way her brain perceives her environment. I don’t meet the design standards for moral and spiritual competence, because sin has damaged the way I perceive myself in relation to my Creator.

Both of us are unaware of the extent of the damage, and so believe that we are more competent than we actually are.

My Soul Can Be Cured

There is no cure available for dementia. But help is available for my sin-illness.

First, God’s image built into all human beings gives an awareness of something needed in our lives. The book of Eccelesiates says that God has “set eternity in their heart” (verse 3:11). God is bigger than we can grasp, but we sense that there is something big “out there”. Everyone, in every culture throughout history, has instinctively felt the lack that has been called a “God-shaped vacuum”. Every religion or philosophy, in every culture throughout history, has been an attempt to explain or connect with that “higher power”.

Second, God’s Spirit is active in the world, bringing what Christians refer to as “conviction of sin”. The term comes from Jesus’ teaching during His last meal with His disciples:

And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.

John 16:8-11

That inner feeling that, not only does something bigger and higher exist, but also that I have run afoul of that power, is the Spirit letting me know that I need help. One of the sad things about dementia is that the patient has times of knowing that something is “off”‘. A part of their brain retains knowledge and has to watch as the rest of the brain deteriorates. Conviction has a similar effect: A part of my soul retains awareness of what should be, and sees the rest of the soul’s brokenness.

But, third, God offers healing to my broken soul that medical science can’t yet offer to a broken brain. Jesus, coming to Earth to live, die, and rise again, provides the cure that I need. Medicine can’t fix the brain and make it whole again. But Jesus does fix my soul, filling in the gaps and covering the damage. He allows me to connect to God as if I were unbroken, as if I were just as whole and undamaged as He is.

I Need A Guardian

A patient with dementia has a guardian/conservator appointed to care for them. The patient doesn’t get to make that choice; the court makes it for them. The guardian is then charged to make decisions on behalf of the patient, that they are no longer able to make for themselves.

In contrast, each of us — with our soul-dementia — is given a choice. We can acknowledge God’s right to make decisions for us. We can reach out and ask for the healing that Jesus offers. Or not.

I could refuse help, and insist on continuing on my own despite my distorted view of reality. That would be just as devastating, though, as my relative being allowed to go back home and live by herself the way she desperately wants to. I can’t stand the thought of what would happen to her in that case. To be blunt, she would die…of malnutrition, or a bad fall, or an untreated infection. What she would not do is have the normal, happy life that she expects.

The soul that persists without accepting help would be in even more dire straits. God can’t stand the thought of what would happen to them. That’s why He gave everything He had to prevent it.

I have a choice, and so do you. Will we accept a Keeper, Guardian, Conservator, and Healer? Or will we choose to stay terminally ill?